cancer and cucumbers

“can i help you?”


“you have cancer?” she gasped

“shit, i hope not!”

the woman
behind the counter
sighed in aggravation
“do you have an appointment?”

“yes, under Wall”

she looked through some stuff
found it
“ah, why don’t you go rinse
and i’ll get the dentist”

i did

she took me in the exam room
laid me back on those ridiculous chairs
that you never feel you’re in right

“i’ll put the television on for you,”
she said

“oh, please don’t. it’s awful.”

“not nearly as awful
as a silent dentist office”
she chuckled

the bitch

the TV came on
i am immediately relaxed
by a hammerhead shark
tearing a sting ray in half

jesus christ
don’t they know what happens
to patients
at the dentist?

next i found out
that a pearl fish
likes to hide
up inside
the asshole
of a sea cucumber

there were many close ups
of the sea cucumbers

“jesus fucking christ
just start drilling on me!”

the dentist told me
that the sore in my mouth
wasn’t cancer
but that my broken molar
the root of it
had been pushed through the
and is pressing into my cheek

he was excited and reckless
with his x-rays
showed slight worry
for his pregnant assistant

he wants to pull two teeth
and maybe skin graft
the opening that may
into my sinus cavity

he wants a little over a grand
i’m not even in pain
i was just scared

the asshole
of a sea cucumber
doesn’t seem like such a bad
place to hide

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