my psychiatrist is dead

I just found out
told by my therapist
who apologized profusely
saying I shouldn’t have been
informed that way.

it’s a weird thought
anyone could die
at anytime,
but not doctors.
it seems that they should be
above death.
that’s their profession
isn’t it?

I guess, Dr. Pug, was just like me
or anyone else.
I remember one time
his wife called during one
of our sessions.
she was bitching at him
to pick up some shit
from somewhere.
he didn’t know that I could hear
screaming her head off.

Dr. Pug also had the hottest nurses
of any doctors office
that I had ever been to.
asses and tits for days.
he knew what he was doing.
it’s weird because you always
want a hot doctor
but that’s the fallacy
what you really need
is an ugly doctor
who only hires
hot nurses.

having a doctor die
is tough, I guess.
I feel like he shouldn’t have died.
not because he didn’t
deserve it
but because he is medicating me
and if he was stupid enough
to get himself dead
how smart could he really be
in prescribing my meds
that completely change
my brain chemicals?

should I feel weird
that his office never called
to let me know of the death?
does that mean I’m lower
on the mental totem pole?
or do I look at it
as a small oversight,
and move on with my
shattered life?

if you pray,
pray for those who hands
you entrust your life,
they obviously need it.

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