doorman to the elderly

I got fucked
holding the door open
at the post office
for three fucking
elderly people

I came out
saw a lady walking slowly
up the ramp
I thought I’d be nice
hold the door for her
it took her a great amount
of time
she said
thank you

I let go of the door
right when an old man
on the inside
shouted to hold it open
he had a walker
one leg was three times the size
of the other
it took him longer
than the lady
by the time he got out
he blocked me in
I couldn’t go anywhere

right before the door
another old woman
tried to make a noise
but just put her hand out
I catched the door
held it open for her
she didn’t thank me

she stopped
started a conversation
with the man with the walker
trapping me behind them
against the doors
and a black iron fence

I wanted to scream
swing my balled fists
at wrinkled saggy flesh

I felt bad
that in another 20 years
or so
if I make that long
those people
will be

I will need
young strong men
to hold doors open for me
while I smell like piss
with crust around my mouth
from things I don’t remember
maybe someone
will want to punch my
liver spotted skull
when I take too long

I wonder about the karma
that I deserve
when I’ll get it
how it will feel
I need to move somewhere
where people are nice
but that place doesn’t exist
so I will take what’s coming to me
with a toothless smile
and a broken hip

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