I forgot how to walk

today
I forgot how to walk
it was terrifying
I mean, really,
completely horrific
I was outside practicing
a new walk
that would look more intimidating
when I’m at Walmart
I thought I found one
went inside to show my wife and kid
they laughed at me
and the dogs barked and jumped
they said that I wasn’t bending my knees
that I looked like there just something
wrong with me
I tried a couple of different variations
then noticed a pain in my back
so, I went back to walking normal
but my family still laughed
asking me why I was bouncing
I didn’t understand
I tried again
my shoulders were too stiff
my legs kept wanting to bounce
my arms were not mine
I don’t know who they belonged to
I tried with my hands in my pockets
I tried with my hands on my hips
but then I was swaying my ass around
swinging my hips like Monroe
sweat poured down my face
I screamed
I forgot how to fucking walk
where was MY walk?
what had I done with it?
it must still be there
somewhere
I stormed outside
tried a few different walks
none of them mine
I held my ams up over my head
tried again
what were these ridiculous things at my side?
what the fuck was I supposed to do with them?
after many failed attempts
I finally tricked my family
into thinking that I had figured it out
but I knew deep down
it wasn’t MY walk
I am hoping that when I wake tomorrow
I will just start walking around
muscle memory will kick in
everything will be back to normal.
that is the plan
but when I came inside to write this
I tripped over a cutting board
that my wife put on the floor
for some reason
laughter ensued
not from me