doing things
evolution never intended for us
we tempt fate
every time
falling from the sky
that we had no business in
hurtling towards the earth
we should never have left
gravity decides our fate
physics figure how critical our condition
medical science plays
with our survival rate
one house destroyed
one plane in pieces
one fire put out
two bodies in the hospital
with question marks
after our names
listening to a song
that I first heard
when I was about 12
not long after that
I fell for a girl
who loved the band
that this song is by
we weren’t together long
it was 7th grade
but it seemed like a lifetime
because it was 7th grade
she went away for a while
we couldn’t speak
write
call
anything
she gave me a picture
of her to look at
while she was gone
look at that picture I did
for hours and hours
listening to her favorite band
I cried like a small child
not understanding
why this was happening
but at the same time
feeling very adult because of it
I thought about jumping out my window
head first on the driveway
but instead
carved her initials
into my wrist
with a broken staple
the scar from that
lasted much longer than
the relationship
after she returned
she returned my love
like an ugly xmas sweater
from grandma
her initials finally healed
you can’t even tell where they were
but the song
still makes me feel the same
makes me feel alone
makes me feel loss
I picture her face
every time
I hear it
I think her name was Mia
may have been Maya
I’m sure she had a last name
I don’t remember it
but I know she had one
because there were two letters
carved into my wrist
that have disappeared over time
with everything else
except that fucking song
what this really comes down to
is what is art?
academics have tried way to hard
to make sure
that people like you and me
don’t understand art
and to make sure
that we don’t ever attempt it without their permission.
this is bullshit.
if you have ever want to create anything,
Poetic Anarchy is for you.
I hate trying to lay on with the salesmanship stuff
I really do
but I truly believe in this.
we are going to learn and grow a lot
show the world our work
and put out a damn book!
if this is the kick in the ass that you have been waiting for,
please hit me up and let’s chat.
Poetic Anarchy starts Tuesday at 6pm PST.
don’t be late and don’t miss out.
Talk to you tomorrow,
Matt
P.S. there are still 2 spots left and when they are gone, they are gone!
Hey all!
in less than 48 hours, POETIC ANARCHY begins!
That’s right! Get on it if you want in!
There are only 2 spots left!
I will be going over things with you like:
This is going to be great, insightful and super productive for your output.
If you have any questions at all about this, please hit me up via email, messenger or chat and let’s talk about it.
See you tomorrow night!
I couldn’t find the rat trap
it had been missing for a week or so
I figured one of those bastards
got it’s tail in it
and dragged it away
I was loading up the car
getting ready for a trip
to the dump
and in this cabinet
I found a dead rat
in the trap
I picked up the trap
when I did
the rat’s body split in half
the head and the spine
and all the rest of the bones
were hangin off the trap
but the whole underbelly
and everything inside
were stuck to the wood
when it split
thousands of small white grey
maggots
poured down onto the ground
covering my bare feet
I tossed the trap
watching the maggots
squirm in the hot sun
trying to dive into the dirt
I picked up the cabinet
shook as much out as I could
then took it to the car
I had to lift it at a funny angle
to get it in
then hundreds of maggots
poured out
down my shirt
all over me
I couldn’t handle it
soft white grey bodies
wiggling
almost transparent
I began to smash them under my hands
my fists
smearing them all over my shirt
my car
I started gagging
heaving
nothing was coming out
I felt them all over me
they had fallen into my hair
my beard
my ears
I couldn’t breathe
I screamed
pulled the cabinet out
smashed it into pieces
caught my breath
and drove to the dump
another day
with another problem
that wasn’t a bill in the mail
in just FOUR days POETIC ANARCHY LAUNCHES! There are still 3 spots left! DM or email me for more information!
join me for POETIC ANARCHY, a 4 week poetry course where we make sure that WHAT you say is more important than HOW you say.
That’s right!
Only 1 freaking week left to sign up for POETIC ANARCHY!
It’s the best damn poetry workshop / course that you will ever take.
I’m not bullshitting you.
You get so much out of this.
4 week course!
Exclusive Discord Chat server!
A collection of my chapbooks on writing that a of now, you can’t get anywhere else!
Inclusion in the first ever Poetic Anarchy virtual poetry reading!
Best of all… your poetry will be included in the first ever Poetic Anarchy paperback poetry collection!
If you have been a poet for decades or if you have NEVER written anything before in your life, this class is for YOU!
The scary bit, is that there are only 3 spots left!!!!
I know!!!
I’m scared too!
You can get in for only $87 bucks! That’s nothing (expect $87).
Don’t miss this opportunity.
You can sign up by clicking here.
Can’t wait to see you live next week!
P.S. If you want to have a one on one convo about what this course even is and how it can help you, leave a comment or drop me a line and let’s chat!
I went out for a walk today
there were feelings running through me
that I couldn’t explain
or didn’t know how they
worked inside of me
confusion
was everywhere in my head
my body
my feet…
I stared at my feet
seeing them jump out
in front of the other
carrying me down the street
feet are strange creatures
all their own
what the fuck are they doing?
and why?
my feet probably hate the shoes
I made them wear
but I bet they like the shoes
more than getting a bunch of gravel
stuck in them
the point of all of this is
not the walk
not my confusion
not my feet
I felt taller than I ever have felt
I was a fucking giant
I towered over things
it was surreal
I felt huge
massive
like I could walk through
trees, walls and cars
my pace picked up
I even felt a smile creep on my lips
then…
I heard footsteps behind me
I didn’t want to turn around
because I was a giant
didn’t want to scare anyone
then the steps grew louder
they were quicker than my own
suddenly,
along my left
this girl
probably 14
zoomed by me
walking and fucking around
on her phone
she was my roughly height
I was no longer tall
I was no longer a giant
I was no longer huge
or massive
I was just the older dude
that got out walked
by some 14 year old girl
join me for POETIC ANARCHY, a 4 week poetry course where we make sure that WHAT you say is more important than HOW you say.
getting up today was tough
I knew what it was
knew what was going to happen
wasn’t sure how’d I feel
but knew I’d feel something
today was your last day of school
your senior year
high school is over
like Coop said,
school’s out for summer
school’s out forever
today would be the last time
I drove you to school
and picked you up
so many times
I have done that
watching you grow
from a small scared
child
into this adult
right before my eyes
its been years
but seems shorter
I handed you
a little balloon
on a stick
that said congratulations
you had on
all black
and a flower crown
you got out of the car
I wanted to come with you
like I used to
walk you up to your schoolroom
but I didn’t
I watched you walk up the steps
just for a second
then drove away
when I picked you up
it seemed like any other day
nothing weird or strange
you told me how your day went
we got take-out
you had chicken strips
and a burger
I had fried zucchini
and a club sandwich
my food wasn’t good
yours was okay
I remember when you wanted
to take the bus to school
be like other kids
I walked you to the bus stop
made sure you were okay
then went around the corner
acting like I wasn’t keeping an eye
on you
then that first day of school
I hid in the bushes
so I wouldn’t embarrass you
and when you got off that bus
you ran to me
in front of all the kids
and yelled
that you made a friend
it broke my heart
I wanted to cry for you right then
like I am now writing this
you make my heart hurt everyday
I worry about you everyday
you make my heart swell
with love, joy and pride
I am so proud of you
tomorrow
I will watch you walk
get your diploma
that says all of this
was worth it
everything I have ever done
for you has been worth it
and no matter what you do now
I will never love you any less
I will always be proud of you
I will always worry about you
I will always cry
when I’m by myself
thinking about
how amazing you are
and how lucky I have been
to be your father
your protector
your daddy
I miss you so much
and yet you are just
sleeping in the room
a few feet from me
becoming a teenager
changed a lot of things
but I know
you knew
you were always loved
you knew I was always here
I tried not to smother you
but I wanted to every second
of every day
and protect from every horrible
thing the world has to offer
I still do
but I know
that I have to stand back
just a little
and let you see for yourself
how it is
you have to be able to survive
and this is the hardest part of
being a parent
and I hate it so much
god how I miss those days
of eating cereal in the morning
watching Bob-Bob
and you thinking that I was
the greatest guy on the planet
I need to cut this short
the tears are so heavy in
my eyes
that I can’t see what I’m typing
and I’m not that good of a
typist
just know
that I love you so much, Chaile,
and I always will
forever and ever
even after I’m gone
xoxoxo
the storm clouds
are dark
full of shit
don’t want that dropping in
on me
but it is on me
it’s in me
the lightning strikes
illuminating the folds
of the clouds
that strangely
resemble the folds
of my brain
skipping my pills
makes the same
bolts and jolts
in my dark folds
like those in the
loud
clouds
the absurdity
of the present storm
being the thing
that protects me
from myself
keeps me from facing
that ever-bright
sunlight
that shows all the faults
pain
tears
and the things that could happen
like a fortune cookie
with folds
like the clouds
like my brain
telling me things
I really don’t want to know
or face
or deal with
or run from
the clouds
bring pressure
to my sinuses
to my head
in turn
to my brain
which has folds
like the clouds
like the fortune cookie
I could smash a
fortune cookie
under my fist
I could smash my skull
under my fist
in turn
smashing my brain
but those storm clouds
those damn clouds
I can’t smash those
I have to ride this storm out
no matter
how it makes me feel
what it makes me do
and how frozen in time
it keeps me
until that blasted
fireball in the sky
burns through
shining light
on all the crap
that will have to dry out
that I will have to clean up
but I am being protected
from myself
join me for POETIC ANARCHY, a 4 week poetry course where we make sure that WHAT you say is more important than HOW you say
suicide
I don’t understand
when other people do it
though it makes sense
for me
when I think of it
I just hate
that everyone does it
when they are so sad
I would feel much better
about my friend’s
suicides
if they were done
when they were happy
I would hear about it
nod with a slight smile
and say, “they did it right”
but this doing
the killing of one’s self
in the deepest
dakrest
despair
it’s bad form
it leaves everyone
with a void
their hearts ache
tears follow
the questioning
of the meaning of life
or lack thereof
friends and family
feel guilty
saying things like
“I should’ve seen it coming”
“if I only would’ve known
how serious it was”
etc.
etc.
etc.
I hope when I do the thing
it will be
when I’m finically secure
everything going right
all the bills paid
everyone happy with me
no one worrying
and when they find me
or hear about it
they’ll nod
slightly smile
and say,
“that’s the way to do it,
he was alllllll right.”
join me for POETIC ANARCHY, a 4 week poetry course where we make sure that WHAT you say is more important than HOW you say.