January 31

growing cocks

in December
they were so tiny
and red
I didn’t know what they were
just smashed them with my
finger

in January
they got a bit bigger
still red
but they got fast

last night
I finally found one that was
brown
bigger than all the rest
running the floor
of my bathroom

by April
these fuckers will be so big
that I’ll go into
the bathroom
and a Kafkaesque one
will be sitting on the toilet
reading the paper
taking a shit
and I’ll apologize
shut the door
and let him finish

spring cockroaches
are always big

grab your copy of January’s chapbook, P.O. Box 3054, at my etsy shop!

Category: Poetry | Comments Off on growing cocks
January 27

I didn’t want to fart loudly

…because there were people
right outside the bathroom
window
on the sidewalk
I tried to keep it down
their conversation seemed
heavy

“All right! You better give me
My fucking money!
NOW!!!!!”

I listened a little longer
between my toilet noises

then
I became uninterested

wiped
flushed
washed my hands
flexed in the mirror …

“YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!”

I smiled at myself
thought about brushing
my teeth
then thought against it
since I was about to have dinner
but did decide
it was time for deodorant…

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU BITCH!”

I winked into the mirror
shot off some finger guns at myself
complete with mouth noises
went into the kitchen
made some coffee
with brandy in it
and waited for my
Japanese take out

Pick up your copy of P.O.BOX 3054 my newest chapbook by clicking here! Free shipping in the U.S.!

Category: Poetry | Comments Off on I didn’t want to fart loudly
January 24

the one thing I don’t like about…

me being drunk
is if I’m around people
I get stupid
I think so at least

I turn into this
strange creature
that constantly wants to
entertain
and usually does
everyone has a good time

but the next day
it isn’t the hangover that kills me
it’s my soul
that has been chewed on
swallowed
digested
by these people I’m around
making them laugh
scream
cuss
the whole thing
it depletes my fucking soul
my spirit
and I feel stupid
ashamed
guilty
the morning after
not because of any one thing
done or said
or a multitude of the same
but just because I let myself
do that

I let it happen
I let them
make me
the entertainment
for their own amusement
the sad clown
strikes again
and will spend the next many weeks
the way it should be
drinking alone
by myself
in a well lit room
music on
laptop open
sharing these horrible tales
to entertain
you
the reader

Category: Poetry | Comments Off on the one thing I don’t like about…
January 18

snapshots from MacArthur Park

1.

i walked down the hill
over a sidewalk
with years
decades
generations
of black polka-dots
chewing gum
bubble gum
dubble bubble
double mint
chew
and more
looking like a giant
dead Dalmatian

2.

walking passed the
Mexican consulate
people
overflowing onto the street
but not as bad
as the gush of flesh
in front of the
social services department
i crossed 6th there
and kept on walking down to
Wilshire
i wanted to walk around the
god damn lake
but there was a fence up
renovations
it said
it looked like it needed it
the water
resembled the Exxon Valdez

3.

skyrats
they are everywhere
flocks and flocks of
skyrats
i usually don’t explain myself
but feel like i need to
this time
to get across my point
or in some lines
you may get confused
a skyrat
is a pigeon
they fly around
badly
then find some shit on the ground
some trash or actual shit
and congregate
all around it
eating it
looking at it
wondering what it is
eating it
looking stupid

here
there are many of them
so many
that you think you’re going
to step on them
or have them
carrine into you
they are out of control
normally
in most places
they just hurry out of the way
here
there are so many damn people
that there isn’t anywhere
from them to go
to out of the way
they may try to
step out of your line
they may try to fly out of the way
but most of the time
it is you
the human
or semi-human
that is supposed to
maneuver around
the skyrats

i saw one in the
near distance
it was trying to get up
off the ground
flying
flapping its wings
crazily
heading right for me
i knew i should duck
but thought
that it had the room
to pick up some
altitude
but something
was weighing it down
the closer it got
i could see what it was
until it almost smacked me
in the forehead
this skyrat
was carrying
in it’s mouth
the leg
of a rat
a normal rat
it had it in its beak
right above the ankle
and the meaty
bloody
hindquarter
was hanging lifelessly
making the skyrats head
tilt in an obscure way
throwing off
it’s already weak
capabilities for flight

i felt the wind
of the wings
in my hair
as it nearly missed me
shocked at what i had
just witnessed
i walked towards the herd
of skyrats
huddled in the ground
attacking something
some old man shooed them away
before i got there
but what was left on the ground
could have possibly been a rat
a normal rat
but there was really no way of telling

4.

at the Wilshire
and Alvarado intersection
there were people everywhere
people walking
people selling
people dying
the little white man blinked on
and we all crossed
in our own directions
like the main event of
Wrestlmania 6
or like a catchphrase
from Strangers on a Train

5.

seeing this mass of human life
i didn’t feel like i was looking
at people anymore
i didn’t even feel like a person
i felt like an ant
we were all ants
running back and forth
bumping heads and feelers
cockroaches
running from the light
looking for some
baseboards to crawl under
no one was happy
no one was sad
everyone was just breathing
trying to get to the next place
that they needed to go to
no one gave a shit
nor expected one in return

6.

staring at all the black polka dots
i noticed that there seemed to be
just as many covid masks
on the ground
blue
white
black
yellow
all different colors
different levels of grime
and dirt
i thought about picking them up
and throwing them away
then it seemed someone else
had the same idea
this man grabbed a filthy one
right off the ground
in front of me
but then put it on
and made a hard right
into a a liquor store

7.

a lady was cooking tacos
right on the street
i ordered
but the meat looked raw
i waited
there were a couple of young
teens
guys
dudes
one with a bro knot
and a big heavy coat
the other looked like an
albino weasel
bro knot had a thick accent
it drew the attention of this old
homeless man
wearing a very small blanket
with dried blood all over his face
and one foot and ankle
that was five times the size
of the rest of him
“where you from kid?” he asked
“chicago” bro knot said
“oh yeah? i love the statue of liberty”
“that fucking new york, pops”
“oh, oh, how about the empire state building?
been up in that too”
“that’s new york!”
“oh, oh sorry. how about Madison Square Gardens?
you been there?”
“that’s fucking NEW YORK!”

it was getting ugly
and then the weasel stepped between them
“why do you keep talking to this crazy old fuck
he’s old
who fucking cares?”
bro knot shrugged
the weasel pulled out a
violent looking blade
then started shaving his
blond peach fuzz with it
we locked eyes
neither of knowing what to do next

8.

i was right there
next to the Rampart police station
thought i’d check it out
for some stupid reason
that doesn’t even make sense to me now
i walked in
there was a man with large Doberman
it looked mean and hungry
at least trained to look that way
there was a mother there with
6 loud kids
of various ages
and behind the front desk
hung a huge Blue Lives Matter flag
that is just antagonistic
i thought
and got the fuck out of there

9.

i needed a piss
went into Jack in the Box
disheveled multitudes filled
Jack’s Box
there was a code
to open the bathroom door
they said it was for paying customers
only
i ordered an egg roll i didn’t want
and a drink i didn’t want
got the receipt
and headed for the bathroom
as i reached for the door
a woman from inside the bathroom
came out
there was wet toilet paper
hanging off of her hands
and trailing behind her feet
i walked in and shit was smeared
all over the walls and all over the toilet
i pissed in the trash can
(it was the only untouched thing
in there
it seemed the logical thing to do)
used hand sanitizer
left my egg roll on the counter
and handed my empty cup and lid
to a man on the floor
wrapped in a blanket

10.

i got some wine
at Rite-Aid
then walked to a corner
stood next to some phoneless
pay phones
with some beautiful graffiti
pulled my mask down
lit a smoke
and tried to relax
a woman
stopped five feet away
having a panic attack
couldn’t catch her breath
kept saying
“oh my god”
then she had a cigarette
and i crossed the street
saw a torn trampled cover
of a Stephen King book
laying on the sidewalk
among the trash
it was The Long Walk
i laughed hysterically

11.

i stopped at a food truck
that had al pastor
got a torta
looked around while it was
being made

none of these people
were bad people so to speak
there was just a shit load of them
everywhere

you put 10 guys
in 1000 square foot room
they will change the world
you put 100 guys
in a 1000 square foot room
they’ll be gouging eyeballs
and slicing throats
before the last one is through the door

even the homeless
or disenfranchised
or dis-homed
(i don’t know what the correct
modern name they go by)
seemed fine
a few had been in the sun too long
maybe
but even their rantings
made a lot of sense
i too
have wanted to get into
a fist fight
with a public bus

the tents procreate through the park
like rabbits, ground squirrels and
followers of Q
it’s nice that they can stay there
but the city
humanity
should be doing more
but hey
if people are making it
any way they can
good for them

i got my torta

12.

a man hid something in a bush
before running into the
social services building
6 police cruisers pulled up
flashing their lights
exited their cars
ran into the building
as well

me
my wine
my torta
headed back up 6th
to Carondelet
and started the short walk
up the long steep hill

Category: Poetry | Comments Off on snapshots from MacArthur Park
January 14

toilet paper blues

I remember
when I was a kid
toilet paper came in
fantastical colors
some even came in scents
but the colors
blue
green
yellow
pink
peach
violet
etc

they even had designs on them
in different contrasting colors
a lot of people would
buy the color that matched
their bathroom
but I remember
vaguely
a multi color pack
a four pack
I remember seeing this
under my sink

but the colored paper was crazy
it gave you something to look at
especially if you were too young
to read on the crapper
but the colors of the paper
would make your shit smears
pop!
sometimes
it would even make your shit
look darker or lighter
than normal
sometimes
if you ate something different
that changed the color of your shit
you couldn’t be sure if it was real
or just the fucking paper!

toilet paper aisles in grocery stores
are so damn boring now
it used to be the stores that were boring
with their drab
brown and beige
color schemes
and the toilet paper aisle
that looked like a rainbow of paper
out of Willy fucking Wonka!

you know
I also remember
these toilet paper rollers
that had these beads of
poisonous jelly
that would emit a good smell
after a stinky shit
as you rolled the paper out

but like I said
those little beads were poisonous
and since they were different colors
and smelled good
kids
babies
cats
dogs
would eat them
get sick
probably die
after puking and shitting
their guts out
in the crapper
using more toilet paper
of different colors
that would spin on the roll
shoot out more beads of jelly
of different colors
for them to sick all over again…

those were the days

Category: Poetry | Comments Off on toilet paper blues
January 13

brands

walked to 7/11
wanted water, wine and smokes

they didn’t have the brand of water I like
so I got something else
they didn’t have the brand of wine I like
so I got something else

at the register
some hard luck case
w/ cookies and muffins
was yelling at the girl
behind the counter
“who does your hair?”

then there were three women
behind the counter
yelling at this guy
“we’re gonna call the police!”

“the police? why? this guy here is gonna
pay for my stuff!”
he pointed to me

“I ain’t paying for shit!” I said

then i thought
maybe I should buy this guys crap
he’s probably just hungry
I got the extra scratch at the minute

“we’re calling the cops! get out!”

“I ain’t going nowhere! this guys buying my shit!”

my voice rose
“I ain’t buying no one, nothing, mother!”

the guy threw his hands up
stormed out of the store
mumbling threats

the women didn’t seem upset
that he left with two handfuls
of product

he made a right
so I’d be seeing him
on the way to my car

at the register
I asked for my cigarettes
they didn’t have the brand of smokes I like
so I got something else

Category: Poetry | Comments Off on brands
January 12

Preview the new EP

You can check out the first part of a four part concept album here!

The album is one I’ve been wanting to do for years now.

It’s called Goodbye Hope.

This first part of it is entitled The Filthy Hamster Wheels Spins

Some of my favorite songs I’ve ever written are on it. If you have seen me live over the years, chances are you’ve heard at least a couple of these.

  1. Strip Club on a Saturday Night
  2. To Be Loved By you
  3. Lay’er Down
  4. River of Lost Souls

I’ll post the story behind the story and of the story and every other story here shortly.

It should be available everywhere by next week!

Category: Music | Comments Off on Preview the new EP
January 10

I just saw the strangest thing

a young boy
12 or 13
was outside
yelling and screaming
he was angry
walked into the middle of the street
looked down the hill
then produced a large mango
he cocked his arm back
threw it like a football
only the mango was no football
and it only went about ten feet
the boy cussed up a storm
and as the mango slowly rolled
down the hill
in the middle of the street
the boy used both hands
to flip it the bird
with much style and gusto
then walked away calmly

I wonder what that mango
did to him?

Category: Poetry | Comments Off on I just saw the strangest thing
January 6

hard ass men

I look out my window
to the street below
and I see all sorts of hard cases
mother fuckers that wouldn’t
blink twice before
slicing open your belly

these fuckers strut
up and down the street
not giving a fuck
faces like steel
fists like boulders
birds know not to fly by
when these fuckers hit the streets

30, 40 hell even 25 years ago
perhaps even last week
the sight of these
hard ass men
would have
scared shitless
whites
phoning their local PD

but today
as I watch these men
these men that I admire
they walk and stop
then turn around
and wait
for their pomeranians
or chihuahuas or shitzus
or yorkies
to come running back to them
after pissing up
the tire of some car
or taking a shit
on the sidewalk

I think we’ve come a long way
as a civilization
as a society
and I’m glad
I live in a world
where hard ass men
can wait around
on little pussy dogs

Category: Poetry | Comments Off on hard ass men
January 4

the blotter, mad swirl & the world of myth

even though my life the last few months had been as hectic AF, i was still able to make tiny splashes here and there…

back in November, i had two sites / zines feature my work.

the first is an amazing FREE magazine that has a monthly PDF download of their issue. i absolutely love this magazine and really hope to get a lot more of my stuff in it.

it’s called the blotter.

in the November issue, they featured 6 of my poems!

i was so excited!

you can download the issue here.

the next site to carry my words was a really cool site in the UK.

it’s called Mad Swirl

they have a really cool way of running an online magazine. they have a “LIVE” page basically that new poems are being posted to and they are only there for a limited amount of time. so if you blink, you could miss it.

I think it’s writers that have been published there 3 times within a year become contributors.

it’s a neat idea and i love the mindset and layout of the site. i wish there was a way to find the people who post outside of there easier, because i read some really great poems on there and would love to read more by those poets.

but like i said, blink and you’ll miss them.

the poem i had accepted by them was called Crazy Bitch. it’s long gone now, maybe i’ll post the poem up here soon, but do check out the site, they have some talented poets over there and if you are a poet looking for places to submit, i highly recommend them!

you can find them at here at www.madswirl.com

lastly,

i had a short story published in The World of Myth Anthology Volume 4!

The World of Myth has been around for a LONG TIME and the people who run it are good people who really care about the content they are putting out. If you write fantasy, sci-fi, horror and / or poetry, i would highly recommend them. if you are looking for community, they have that too in spades.

you can pick up the book at their Myth Mart store, or you can check out their site at www.theworldofmyth.com

Category: Blog | Comments Off on the blotter, mad swirl & the world of myth