me being drunk
is if I’m around people
I get stupid
I think so at least
I turn into this
strange creature
that constantly wants to
entertain
and usually does
everyone has a good time
but the next day
it isn’t the hangover that kills me
it’s my soul
that has been chewed on
swallowed
digested
by these people I’m around
making them laugh
scream
cuss
the whole thing
it depletes my fucking soul
my spirit
and I feel stupid
ashamed
guilty
the morning after
not because of any one thing
done or said
or a multitude of the same
but just because I let myself
do that
I let it happen
I let them
make me
the entertainment
for their own amusement
the sad clown
strikes again
and will spend the next many weeks
the way it should be
drinking alone
by myself
in a well lit room
music on
laptop open
sharing these horrible tales
to entertain
you
the reader
