7 o’clock

it’s Seagram’s 7 o’clock
which means it’s either 5 or 6 o’clock
fuck, it could be anytime
although I am trying to not drink in the mornings
I don’t know why
I just feel that
at the moment
it’s in bad taste.
so, like I was saying
it’s Seagram’s 7 o’clock
I don’t know if I want to write fiction anymore

I love fiction
I love the pulps
I have so many ideas
so many stories to tell
the thing that has been getting
in my craw
is that the fiction I write
isn’t that marketable
at least to the great god

what this means
is that I can work my ass off on something
and put it out there
Do a little marketing myself for it,
which by the way
I fucking hate,
it’s not that I hate it
as much as
I’m not good at it,
and if the the Amazon bots
can’t find a decent swarm
of what they call
“also boughts”
meaning people who also bought i.e.
then they will just not
put the time into pushing it
because there are other carbon copy books
for the robots to sell
to mindless masses
who will eat up the same
cookie cutter story
with a rotating cast
of unlikable assholes.

that’s one reason anyway
another part of that is that
I tend to always blend genres
that becomes a problem for the A-Bots
I don’t know why
but it is

I don’t have a huge marketing budget
I don’t have the backing of a publisher
with a huge marketing budget
so I’m a bit stuck.

you may ask
why don’t you just write
what sells
do what the “pros” say,
write to market
I have tried that
when I do that
I kinda hate myself
I know I’m doing something
for a reason
other than just writing

writing used to be a form
of therapy for me
no matter how I was feeling
I could write it out
and thus
not murder strangers
on the street
but now,
trying to do that
trying to appease the A-Bots
makes me want to murder people more

I think I am going to do
what a lot of people I like have done
just write about things I know
you may call it a memoir
but that’s pretentious.
you may call it a perzine
but I never got into that vernacular
I think it sounds a bit pretentious.
some people call it gonzo journalism.
yeah, maybe.
depending on what you write and
how much of it is blown up.

some of you may be thinking
why are you writing this out
as poetry?
or bullet points?
the reason is this.
I am getting older and have a lot of
stories to tell.
I need something that is short and to the point
I need no fluff.
I need no bullshit.
your time is valuable,
isn’t it?
I don’t want to waste your time
or mine.
so why do it?
why act like I’m something I’m not?
why throw around ten dollar words
in the hopes that some of you are tricked
into thinking I’m smarter than I am?
I’m not.

I don’t know if this is poetry
I just know that this is me
and I’m stripping down all the bullshit
and I’m taking a much needed break from fiction
and the “art” of trying to market fiction
as a self published author.

oh shit!
look at the clock!
it’s Seasgram’s 7 o’clock

be sure to pick up my book THE END OF EVERYTHING available now at Indiegogo!

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