the only thing that’s better than sex

there is nothing better
in the whole wide world
than after a hot shower
a long one
you get out
dry off
and clean your ears
w/ Q-Tips.

The feeling is often better
than sex, and
before you ask me,
I am having sex the right way.

the feeling often lasts longer
than sex, too
the act lasts longer usually
and the O lasts at least the
same amount of time.

I moan
eyes roll back
into my head

I say Q-Tips
other cotton swabs
suck balls!
the ones on plastic sticks
shift the cotton
and stab your eardrums
or the sticks themselves
Q-Tips hard paper sticks
do not bend or break
unless put under a tremendous force.

I have only done this a handful
of times.

the cotton on the tip
stays put
and absorbs so much of
that yellowish-brown,
sometimes even bloody
that you can dip the same
tip in for seconds.

I finished cleaning my ears
roughly ten minutes ago
and am still glowing,
still have chills all over
my body.

I also think you are safe
from the clap
and other things while
cleaning your ears.

Get your copy of FINGERING THE MUNDANE my early poems. It’s a collection of 6 out of print chapbooks. 250 pages of poetry!

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